update in reverse

tomorrow: we leave at 7:44 a.m. for an extended weekend in palm springs, california to visit my dad's and gil's new home. we will hopefully sleep on the plane. the time change will be in our favor. we will hang out and enjoy weather twice as warm as it is here. we will hang out and sleep in. on sunday there will be something of a family reunion (15 of us in the same family tree!), and rachel will come all the way to see me and bring her boyfriend. there will be sleeping, eating, hanging out, more sleeping and more eating.

today: i got a trim at the new salon across the street from the salon i used to visit. it new salon has all of the stylists from the old salon. beauty mutiny! i got a trim and commiserated with the stylist about not being a morning person and paid them a bunch of money. in a few days i'll know if it was worth it. also, scantron had her baby - happy birthday to anna!

before today: our house got brand spankin' new, energy efficient, easy to clean windows. drafts are down by about 98%. a few missed percentage points due to a window not entirely suited for it's frame, near nate's side of the bed. we think a bit of caulking will do the trick. when i came home today, instead of a freezing house i got a comfortable but slightly cool house. it was warmer today than yesterday, but i think we're on to something here...

also before today: we celebrated lea's birthday with some good sibling fun and pizza time. we celebrated post-holidays with friends in freetown and came away from the yankee swap with a well curated gift of a machete and a ski mask. and i bought a sparkly purple adult-sized hula hoop. we celebrated the new year with friends in somerville, eating cheesy things and having some good conversations. we celebrated the holidays at two homes, enjoying company, food, and more good company.

before all that, we went on vacation in andalucia during which: i became addicted to lemon soda; in seville we found a fast food donut/bagel place, not to be confused with dunkin donuts, called "duffin dagels" ; we walked seville up and down and left and right of the guadalquivir river; we visited alcazares reales de sevilla which made me want to tile every surface i possibly could; we spent a couple of days in the seaside town of cadiz, walking along the coast and zig-zagging through the narrow streets; we saw the southernmost tip of spain at the windsurfing beach town of tarifa; we woke early to be the first people of the day on the top of the rock of gibraltar, where, looking out at africa, nate proposed and i said yes; we had "milkshakes" which were only bottled yoohoo-type beverages shaken by the shop keeper, which made us frown; we spent a few days in granada, particularly enjoying a meandering night stroll in the hilly neighborhood of albaicin and, of course, visiting alhambra; nate got very sick and sounded like he was going to either die or become tone loc; we splurged on one night at a fancy schmancy hotel in the small town of osuna, which makes its own olive oil, has a beautiful town square, and perhaps the world's worst pizza joint; we finally returned to seville, where nate continued to be sick, i continued to be obsessed with lemon soda, and we contemplated bringing home creche figures ranging in size from mini to mondo from the strangely huge holiday fair outside the cathedral selling only creche figures; we wished for more time in spain and came home looking forward to our next trip.

(oof. that's a mouthful. sorry. next time, a sampling of photos. some day soon.)

watching out

it came down last night. it's a white pre-christmas. and just in time so that everyone benefits from a good excuse for a lazy sunday, or perhaps a lazy sunday morning followed by lots of sunday shoveling. i've got some oatmeal, a clementine, a tiny bit of the mint brownies i made yesterday, a steaming mug of tea, and the perfect spot for watching the windy snow swirls out the window from a cuddly place on the couch.

lisa, in all her pregnant glory, braved the impending storm yesterday to be here for some crafty times. my sewing machine is unfathomable to me. despite getting it repaired, it is creating nothing for me but grief. still, we had a good time. we munched on the brownies and some homemade potato chips, got lots of prep work done for the curtains in her future baby's room, and enjoyed our time together. i gave her a 'how pregnant am i' test by having her stand up and try to see her toes. she failed to see her toes, and thus won the test: she is very pregnant. while sitting down to try out the sewing monster, the baby started to kick a little, and lisa grabbed my hand so i could feel the little foot in action. i cried a little - the tears just squirted right out. it was an amazing moment, and i felt honored she let me feel up her pregnant tummy.

today, i'm perfectly content to stay here, happily aware that we are all growing in all sorts of different ways, watching the shifts and drifts of the world outside. and contemplating the twists and turns, the beauty and hard work, the tears of overwhelming emotion and laughter of surprise and delight, the hard times and joyful times the new year will bring.

nate found the cable for downloading photos from my camera. day is saved! and i've created a tabblo of my first knitting project:

Katy taught me how to cast on and knit a garter stitch. In the course of one afternoon I managed to knit, very slowly, a few inches using her yarn, her needles, and relying on her instruction and help. A week later, I had used up the full ball of yarn on my first practice piece.

A few notes:
1. Knitting is addictive, fun, and satisfying
2. I'm more likely to create extra stitches rather than drop them.
3. It's really helpful to have people around to help as you get going. Especially to tell you to "spread them" while casting on, and to tell you about where to put your balls. ... See my Tabblo>

productivity

usually i: make it through work; putter around; and do alright.

today i: accomplished a boatload of work; did a significant amount of assigned reading; went to class; paid two forgotten credit card bills right before the payment due dates; repaired one broken hairpin, two necklaces, and one bracelet; took pictures of my first completed knitting project (if only i could find the cable to let me transfer them to the computer); watched a couple of television programs; and called my mother.

i don't want to take from this that a 3 p.m. cafe au lait and ginger cookie break makes me more productive, but the correlation is unavoidable.

here's how the rest of the year will go: i will work a day, go to a party in honor of a friend and her on-the-way-baby, go fabric shopping, do a lot of assignments, go back to work two days, go to class, go to work, pack, go see family for thanksgiving, come back, go to work for two days, go to class, go to work for two days, go to class, go to work, get on a plane heading east across the atlantic, be on vacation for 8 days, get back on a plane heading west this time, go to work two days, take a final, go to work two days, take another final, go to work, take a breath and figure out what the hell is going on, have a weekend at home, go to work four days and then it's christmas, then it's after christmas, then it's the new year.

holy crap.

Nora

i've been remembering some of my dreams more vividly over the past few days. over the weekend i had a series of dreams one night which, after telling to nate, clearly seemed all about ruining things for other people. this has been on my mind lately, so it makes perfect sense. i've not followed through on things i should have done for myself, i have skipped out of plans with friends without much warning, and i have not been the paragon of girlfriendliness that is my usual.

but, the dream that sticks out the most now i had two nights ago. in it, i was at a large theme-park with a very long slide. like topsfield fair on growth hormones. major growth hormones. the top of the slide looked down to little ants of people plodding back and forth between other amusements and various food vendors. i was there with some people, including nora, katy's niece. (nora was with us on my first visit to the fair, so that's not that strange. here's the strange part coming up:) i'm not sure if nora morphed into something else, or if she was something else all along, but when i talked to and looked over at nora, she was a candle. one of those little tiny birthday candles striped with colored and white wax. nora was blue and white. her wick was not lit, but i think it had been since it looked charred. to walk along with me to get to the head of the line she sort of pogo'd along, as one might imagine a candle doing it it needed to get place to place. almost like the candelabra in disney's version of beauty in the beast. and almost like those crazy CGI dollar bills in some add about money working for you. at some point nora stopped bouncing along, paused, dropped to her side on the ground and rolled her way ahead. smart girl, that nora. to take the slide, i had to hold nora the candle in my two hands in front of my chest. i talked to nora and she talked to me, but her voice was very quiet because there's not a lot of room in a candle to make much noise. i think it's the missing lungs that might be a problem. so anytime nora the candle wanted to talk to me, i would tell her to hold on, and i would lift her up to my ear. i was treating her wick like the sound came from there, but it was hard to tell. we rode down the slide for what felt like forever. down and down, and over a bump, and down and down some more.

i woke up before we reached the bottom of the slide.

road trip

just back home after a night drive from western mass back east. twisty dark roads, cups of tea and coffee, conversation, and a big and low orange moon. contentment is running high.

surprise

oh dear. i just found out in a very round-about way that there is a surprise in store for me. it's a birthday surprise. and... having checked the calendar just now... i see that both birthday and surprise are exactly three weeks from today. i am a horrible surprisee. just hearing about it and my face got all flushed and my stomach turned and tumbled.

it doesn't matter if the surprise is a big one (a finger monkey, a carnival just like at the end of annie -- and even my biggest enemy could come and ride the elephant and we could all be happy, a boat ride with samberg and t-pain) or a small one (a pat on the back, a piece of candy, a coupon from the sunday paper inserts). truly does not matter. any which way, it's a big deal to me.

i mentioned i am a horrible, horrible surprisee, didn't i?

this will drive me bonkers. absolutely crazy up and down walls, inside and out of my head. and, yes, i have been known to resort to cajoling, begging, whining, tantrum throwing, pleading, eyelash batting, needling, and any other activity i think may elicit information.

three weeks is a very long time. BUT. will it be longer for the surprisor, or the surprisee? time will tell.

i've been feeling out how it might be to take two classes this semester, only two weeks in and i'm getting my groove down. if i don't shoot myself in the foot by checking my favorite websites frequently like the 'net addict i can be, i might just find the time to do all my readings and assignments and come out just fine at the end. it also doesn't help that style network keeps airing programming of amazingly low quality but high entertainment value.

nate has been hard at work, getting into the thick of a time management book for technonerds. this one appears to resonate a bit more with him than "getting things done" ever did. is this attributable to the focus on core principles rather than on a specific system? perhaps. is it because it speaks to the technonerd audience directly and the examples are all based on work experiences nate relates to directly? maybe. is it because o'reilly is the publisher and this is one in a series of technonerd books that are revered, and yep, there's another woodland creature on the cover? could be. i won't argue with any of this. the author gets right to his points, he appears knowledgeable and humorous, and kept my attention through the introduction. i especially appreciated his brief section about how to spend newly found time, suggesting all sorts of activities to get the technonerd away from the desk and out into the rest of the world. kudos. extra super duper brownie points for end of the book suggestions of ways to lead a life broader than the nearest laptop.

so nate's been reading, taking notes, and starting to take names in his own work task list. it's nice to see. and i am reminded that i should bring that own focus back into my own tasks. now would be a good time, so i don't let pretty sparkly diversions distract me from the things i most want: shared experiences with my near and dear, some moments to reflect each day, and time for unplanned amusements without feeling guilty for choosing adventures over obligations.

i'm spinning: erik friendlander's "block ice and propane"
i'm reading: barbara kingsolver's "animal, vegetable, miracle"

4 years young

today nate and i celebrate four years of each other's company. we are planning a dinner out.

four more years!

that is a pretty great phrase to yell. i may try it out at home later tonight.

the only romantic thing left

mimi weddell, 95 year old actress/model, on hats:



(posted today on my new favoritest blog, advanced style.)

july was marked with chaos, august has been marked with pleasure. my class ended in the first week, leaving me with four weeks before i'm next responsible for assigned readings and other work. no extravagant uses of these days really, just an easy enjoyment of extra hours each day, and extra days each week. i've made time for friends who haven't seen me since april or earlier, i've made time for fun errands and outings with nate, and i've made time for magazines and books and couch and silly tv.

the students are back in harvard square. the sidewalks are crowded with amorphous clusters which seemingly expand to the whole width just when you want to get by. the bookstore aisles are packed with bodies. the wait time to order and pay for lunches has lengthened.

i love this time of year - the palpable excitement in the air. (or, is it anxiety?) usually i'm inspired to reorganize my desk or alphabetize my cd collection, or perform some other ordering and neatening in recognition of either the ancient harvesting season or the more likely modern back-to-school buzz.

organization is still key this year, but it has more to do with finally finding spaces and places for the items still in cardboard boxes. two months after we moved and last night my old sturdy bookcase friend was reassembled and filled to the brim with four (or was it five?) boxes worth of books. this was the big push. the majority of what was left un-unpacked were those books.

this will be a nice weekend. it will be rainy and perfect for lazing about, and putting nails in walls for holding frames, and maybe a movie or two, and some friends. and maybe a little more pleasure and calm before the fall energy starts in earnest.

2 years

and i miss grandma still.

compliments from a 2 year old

"i like your feet."

"i like your tummy."

and, no words necessary, crawling or wriggling into your arms or lap.

new home on a hill!

it's finally starting to sink in, this whole thing about having a new home. i've been going to sleep and waking up in a strange new room for a week and a half, and i'm finally starting to remember even in my groggy states to lift my feet over the raised floor boards in the doorways. i'm getting the hang of the front door key and i remember now which bathroom switch is for the light, and which is for the fan.

we've already welcomed a handful of friendly faces, and it's been fun to show people around and get their reactions to the space. my favorite things include the great light in the front of the house, the deck, the beautiful old wood, and the room we have for visitors. i think there are plenty of other things to love about the new space, like a dining room and the enclosed back porch. until those spaces are really usable, they remain further down on my list.

the kitchen is starting to see what nate and i expect from it. we've made a few meals, and nate made a batch of cookies last night. here's what we've learned: we're not used to it at all. pots and pans seem to all be in the most counter-intuitive places, but we haven't yet figured out how to store them better. we took one step forward by moving the cutlery back into the kitchen and not in the built-in cupboard in the unusable dining room. two steps back for leaving the dish rack out all the time effectively cutting our surface space by one third. fridge is good, pantry is disorganized, and shelving, though abundant and seemingly custom fit to the space is not maximized, and there is plenty of space out of reach. one of our first purchases: a TWO-step step stool.

in order to take showers with some privacy, i rigged up a second shower curtain, cut to size, in the very large bathroom window. i still think frosted glass would be better. for the moment, the curtain also protects the window sill, which otherwise gets all splashed with water. we've noticed that the tile grout needs to be redone. well, the whole bathroom can be redone at that would be okay. something about the beige and dusty pink tile makes my skin crawl. that's something for a little farther down the road, of course.

the additional bedroom, which we're using to store books and desks and computers, is great. the smaller sofa fits in here and makes a cozy reading nook. before the end of the month we'll get our hands on an inflatable mattress to properly host our first scheduled overnight guest, my mom. we've got a couple of plants in there, but they are far from the windows and so they may be moved out before we kill them. i'll be considering ways to make the room a little more guest-friendly. i think this won't be a problem at all.

what else? well, we still haven't figured out how to store our bikes successfully. where do you put three bikes when both stairways up to the house or down to the basement are narrow, and the front entry area isn't big enough, the back entry isn't big enough, the garage has no security, and you don't want your bikes to be exposed to the elements?

with just two exceptions, i've been biking to and from work. this in some of the most insanely wet late june and july days i can recall. my reputation for being a fair-weather biker is on the line. lessons i've learned from biking in the rain: the rain layer does work; bring extra socks; bring extra undies; and don't be too afraid of the traffic - the drivers are more cautious than usual. the return trip is not very taxing until the lead up into teele square, a slow but constant grade gets you into the teele area, then there's two hills to traverse before turning onto our street. the last couple of minutes are what kill me - i arrive at the front stoop panting and sweaty, discombobulated with lungs heaving, heart racing, and temples pounding. when i conquer these hills, i will pump my tiny fists in the air, and i will shake up a bottle of champs and spray it all over myself.

so, the settling in is going well. we're identifying areas for improvement, finding the corners we love most, and getting adjusted to a new set of doorways, cabinet doors, and lights. and, at some point (hopefully before the end of the tour de france), i'll be able to hold a conversation as soon as i get home. if you swing by before then and i just gasp and wheeze, know that i'm trying to say, "welcome!"

always a way to procrastinate with technology

at our temporary home, we've found close to no internet available to us. a few days ago we could sit at the very front edge of the house and get two little bars of activity, signaling we had successfully latched on to a neighbor's account. they may have noticed, because now there are no bars. last night we resorted to reading for hours. it took a while to get used to this new arrangement. nate kept fiddling with his iphone, trying to send lengthly emails and show me new posts on dlisted, which just strained my eyes. and rather than dig right into an exciting new chapter in the psychology textbook, i tried one last time to connect to email, failed, and then - lo! - i discovered i had downloaded one of dirtyboots' november novels to my desktop, and had never read it. salvation, once again, from my own best interests. so that's how come i'm a few chapters into a story about a time-traveling older brother and a sister who is trying to find him using audio archeology and a few chapters behind my abnormal psychology readings.

[psst...clare... i never saw the X-files episode you mentioned, but i recently saw the same premise on Fringe: they were playing back a window pane which had melted a little wavy bit in an intense heat blast from something akin to sponteneous human combustion! a two-fer!]

housing update

no turning back now. we've shut down the dojo temporarily. as of wednesday afternoon we and all of our stuff were out. for the week and a half while we have no place to call our own, we have shelter courtesy of V's extended lease. we're living in cramped but quiet quarters, trying our best to fly under anyone's radar.

tomorrow morning dad and i sign paperwork in exchange for money, and my home for the last 4 years legally becomes someone else's joy and headache. nate and i take over our own joy and headache next friday. we'll be moving from between Harvard and MIT stomping grounds to near Tufts stomping grounds. Ah, Greater Boston - never too far from school.

the next week and a half we'll be finding excuses to leave our temporary digs for more hospitable and less claustrophobic climes. i'm thinking more bike rides, more trips to the gym, more lazing about on public green spaces. sounds really great, actually.

i've also decided on a summer course, and will be busy each week, starting next tuesday, learning about abnormal psychology. this is the fascinating stuff that generally gets exploited by news and movies: ooh, mood disorders! aah, personality disorders! ohh, shizophrenia!

so the summer is shaping up: we'll have a house to make into a home, i'll have coursework to keep my brain spinning, and a few little fun trips and activities to keep us feeling fresh and energized. by the time we get to all that, perhaps the weather will actually cooperate and act it's season.

knock some wood for us

the big news of the day: nate and i got the approval letter from the bank for our mortgage. we're about to take on the biggest debt in our lives, and actually, i'm really happy. how could i not be? this was the last big hurdle between us and a home to call our own. i'm very excited. of course, all that excitement comes with a bit of apprehension. i've never taken on any type of debt at all. nate has more experience at this - he's taken out loans for school and his car. i don't know if that's preparation, but owing vast amounts of money may not be the entirely unfamiliar situation for him as it is for me. regardless, i'm a grinning palm-sweating jubilant mess. dad emailed to welcome me to the american dream. (yes, thanks.)

another month and we'll be plunking down a big ol' check of our own, a big ol' check from the bank, and ready to move into a new home. in the meantime, all the big pieces that were causing me stress are now in place and i can sigh the biggest sigh of relief. that, and i had a good review from my supervisor at work and the reassurance that my job is still mine for another year, and i'm about to have a second great weekend in a row. thank you, world.

damn good weekend

i was just looking back a couple of posts ago and realized my calf injury was just about two months ago. i'm actually doing well. i've got lots of get up and go, and my calf has been cooperative. two months seemed like it would take forever, but it flew by after all. it helped that i have been able to bike now for weeks. but i can see and feel how i still won't be at full "HIYA!" power for a little while longer. i'm jonesing for a dance class, and plan to try again in maybe a week or two.

speaking of biking and jonesing...

this weekend has been full of lovely things. i rewatched "Se7en" on Friday night; took a road trip with nate, V. and S. to North Adams to attend the 10th anniversary ball at Mass Moca and ended up on stage with v. singing back up for Miss Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings; showed up late and during the torrential downpour on Sunday afternoon to a cook/hang out at the house of nate's former co-worker, Ted, and gorged ourselves courtesy of the potluck offerings and the big tent draw, Meat-a-palooza; and today, a slow leisurely start followed by a 30something mile round-trip ride to Walden Pond.

i crossed several things off my life's to-do list over the past three days, and feel utterly relaxed and happy. with all that and my leg feeling stronger...well... that's one damn good weekend.

dang

i am impressed:

giving back my keys

early next week dad and gil leave nyc and head to california, and 41 5th gets a new owner. nate and i visited last weekend, but i left my keys in boston by accident. at least i think it was an accident. this morning i mailed back my set of keys to the apartment.

41 5th.
where dad thumped around my room, chasing a mouse in the middle of the night without waking me up.
where i got ready for the prom my junior year before being picked up for a double-date, and dad had to run outside with the camera because i refused to wait around for the obligatory photo session.
where we watched 5th avenue paraders in the summer, and cross-country skiing in the winter.
where one year eric got ready for halloween in the middle of the night, donning a cheerleading costume and making me spray his blond wig with gold glitter, which landed in every conceivable crack in the wood flooring and drove dad crazy for years afterwards.
where there used to be a murphy bed in the second bedroom and i sometimes fell and got wedged in the gap between the head of the bed and the wall unit.
where i recovered from the chicken pox in 5th grade and an ovarian cyst in 10th.
where i put a "no smoking" sticker i got at school on the mirror in my room and finally took it down years after dad quit.
where doug brought his mom to meet us for a bagel brunch before our first date in sixth grade ("the naked gun" at a theater on 8th street)
where dad used to have a white shag rug and a mirrored wet bar in the living room.
where i could find dad for the past 23 years.