Oct 27, 2009


i've been remembering some of my dreams more vividly over the past few days. over the weekend i had a series of dreams one night which, after telling to nate, clearly seemed all about ruining things for other people. this has been on my mind lately, so it makes perfect sense. i've not followed through on things i should have done for myself, i have skipped out of plans with friends without much warning, and i have not been the paragon of girlfriendliness that is my usual.

but, the dream that sticks out the most now i had two nights ago. in it, i was at a large theme-park with a very long slide. like topsfield fair on growth hormones. major growth hormones. the top of the slide looked down to little ants of people plodding back and forth between other amusements and various food vendors. i was there with some people, including nora, katy's niece. (nora was with us on my first visit to the fair, so that's not that strange. here's the strange part coming up:) i'm not sure if nora morphed into something else, or if she was something else all along, but when i talked to and looked over at nora, she was a candle. one of those little tiny birthday candles striped with colored and white wax. nora was blue and white. her wick was not lit, but i think it had been since it looked charred. to walk along with me to get to the head of the line she sort of pogo'd along, as one might imagine a candle doing it it needed to get place to place. almost like the candelabra in disney's version of beauty in the beast. and almost like those crazy CGI dollar bills in some add about money working for you. at some point nora stopped bouncing along, paused, dropped to her side on the ground and rolled her way ahead. smart girl, that nora. to take the slide, i had to hold nora the candle in my two hands in front of my chest. i talked to nora and she talked to me, but her voice was very quiet because there's not a lot of room in a candle to make much noise. i think it's the missing lungs that might be a problem. so anytime nora the candle wanted to talk to me, i would tell her to hold on, and i would lift her up to my ear. i was treating her wick like the sound came from there, but it was hard to tell. we rode down the slide for what felt like forever. down and down, and over a bump, and down and down some more.

i woke up before we reached the bottom of the slide.

Oct 11, 2009

road trip

just back home after a night drive from western mass back east. twisty dark roads, cups of tea and coffee, conversation, and a big and low orange moon. contentment is running high.